For those of you who don’t know, I live and work in the great city of New York. My office is in Rockefeller Center, which is now inundated with holiday cheer, not to mention, a very big Christmas tree. Seeing all of the decorations and ornaments go up this week reminded me of an unclaimed holiday tradition: The Christmas Pickle.

Poor, poor Christmas Pickle.

Pickle-lore #1:

For a traditional German Christmas, the pickle ornament was the last to be hung on the tree. It was hidden somewhere far into the middle of the branches where it couldn’t be spotted easily. All of the children then searched the tree on Christmas morning, and the first to find the pickle ornament won an extra present from St. Nicholas. 

Fun fact, if you ask modern German families about said pickle, most don’t even know what you’re talking about. The legend was supposedly spouted from West Germany, where it was said that some were so poor after World War II that they had nothing to hang on their tree but pickles. 

Here’s the flaw: the German St. Nick actually shows up pretty early (at the beginning of December), and children traditionally open their gifts on Christmas Eve, not the morning after. So unless you’re decorating at Thanksgiving, and old Kringle is late, you’re not going on a pickle hunt.

Pickle-lore #2:

Once upon a time there was a Bavarian-born soldier named John Lower, who was imprisoned while fighting in the American Civil War. Starving to death, he begged the guard for a pickle in desperation, and the guard (what a softie) found one for him to eat. The nourishment from the pickle supposedly gave the soldier God-given grace to mentally and physically endure his imprisonment. He lived to be released, and from then on, hid a pickle ornament in his family’s Christmas tree to bring luck to the person who found it.

Here’s the flaw: Well, there really isn’t one. This story is freakin’ cute. But just sayin’, if I were imprisoned and starving, I’d be asking for Brooklyn Brine pickles. They’re the jam, and you can buy them at Dean and Deluca, Williams-Sonoma or my fave, Murray’s Cheese.

Last meal: covered.

Pickle-lore #3:

There once were two Spanish boys who were traveling home from boarding school one evening that stopped at an inn to sleep. The innkeeper was way gnarly, and stuffed them into a pickle barrel! St. Nicholas, who happened to be staying at the inn, learned of their plight and rescued them from the pickle barrel.

There’s another version of the legend that tells of the innkeeper actually killing the boys before he puts them in the pickle barrel. St. Nicholas stops by the inn, hears what’s up, and brings them back to life.

Here’s the flaw: This story originated in Berrien Springs, Michigan, which also happens to be the Christmas Pickle Capital of the World. They hold a Christmas Pickle Festival every December, so maybe this is just a ploy to get folks to come to their festival that has absolutely no website. (Hey, I tried.)

What are you guys doing up in this barrel?

So, what’s the verdict? I HAVE NO IDEA. Here is what I do know: there are lots of places to buy your very own Christmas Pickle.

There’s The Roman Christmas Pickle Ornament which comes in a fun jar, sparkly ones from Trendy Tree and Crate and Barrel, or crocheted pickles from Stitch Buy Stitch.

I also stumbled upon scratch and sniff pickle Christmas cards. I wouldn’t hate getting these in the mail.

Christmas just got funky, ya’ll.

Christmas Pickle, where did you come from? What’s your deal? All we know is that you are, by far, the weirdest Christmas tradition around.

Happy pickling!

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